Student: But professor, can I ask you how you intend to kill the boar?

Professor: With a spear, obviously.

- Science Center

Student: He said, " I basically want her to be the representation of femininity but somehow degrading" and I said, "Barefoot and pregnant."

- Hobbs

Professor: Come on, who doesn't like temporary marriage? I'm sure you kids are doing it all the time.

- Science Center

Student: We talked about Marx in Jesus class today.

- McCabe

Student: What's feminist porn?

Professor: Do you want my scholarly answer?

- Science Center

Student 1: I think that Swarthmore is definitely the Hogwarts of Tri-Co.
Student 2: Oh, definitely. I've always thought of Haverford boys as kind of Nordic and burly.

- McCabe

Student 1: Mmm, these are pretty good.

Student 2: No, but the dough is too thin!

Student 3: See! There's no Polish consensus! You'd better get ready, Stalin is coming.

Student 1: ... Too soon.

- Pittenger