Professor: It's a really pleasurable read... and this is openly acknowledging that many of the readings have not been pleasurable.

- Trotter Hall

Student: ... and then he pulled his V card out of his wallet and gave it to her.

- Path to Tarble

Professor: So in tennis, you can only get a point if you make the serve. No, wait, that's in —no, it's not even the new volleyball rules, it's the old volleyball rules. I don't know why I thought it was tennis. (laughs nervously) Let's start over. Tennis: It's a lovely game with a ball and a racket.

- Science Center

Student: (Saturday, 3 am) I'm a biochem major, so I can't get drunk all the time.

- Wharton

Professor: You have a five carbon molecule, a six carbon molecule, a seven carbon molecule... I'm not just pointing this out so I can count in front of you.

- Science Center 101

Professor: I don't expect you to memorize this. I haven't memorized this. (pause) It's the stuff you look up in books.

- Science Center 101

Student: Keep a spare one in your pocket in case the condom breaks...

- The Tunnel

Student: Everyone says this place is supposed to be cleaner than Jersey... it looks about the same to me.

- Outside of Sharples

Student: I went to Catholic farm camp. The nuns rode around in golf carts and it was fucking weird.

- Parrish Hall

Student: I only went because I thought IDF girls would be hot... but it was actually really good!

- Sharples

Professor: They all have bad teeth... it's a national condition. (pause) I know, that wasn't right.

- Trotter Hall

Student: It's like when a teenager moves out of his room and into the basement. Yeah, it's independence, but he's not autonomous.

- Trotter Hall

Student: Agreed, but she doesn't deserve the bitch-slapping she's getting in some quarters.

-McCabe Library

Student: There was this girl in my high school who was having really bad cramps and I didn't have any Advil, so I gave her muscle relaxers. Yeah, that wasn't a good idea.

- Parrish Hall

Student: (eating a slice of vegan apple pie) How do they make it this good without animal!?!

- Sharples

Student: (at local foods dinner) I'm drunk with food!

- Sharples

Student: My worst Swarthmore semester ever was Sophomore first semester...when I realized that there were people who had pass/fail...and I didn't anymore.

- Sharples

Student 1: Basically, I've changed my approach to sex.
Student 2: understanding nod

- Kohlberg Hall