Student: Hicks is the worst place to study if you're not an engineer. Every time I walk in there I get Inception stares.

- Tarble

Student: She's not even an Islamic feminist, she's just a bitch.

- Willets

Student: No, fat girls don't have basic human rights, so it's okay.

- Sharples

Student 1: So it says here that if you roleplay with a thirteen year old...

Student 2: Oh God, don't do that!

- McCabe Library

Student: Beer chug!? It's the only thing we're good at and we can't even do it!

- Outside McCabe Library

Professor: She said, "Okay, I'll just say no." She must have talked to Nancy Reagan.

- Science Center

Professor: Hell hell hell. Reform reform reform. Give money to the Church and Jesus loves you.

- Beardsley Hall

Professor: Christ is not one of the guys.

- Beardsley Hall

Professor: Theses religious literature parties... I like to think of them as pre-modern tupperware parties.

- Science Center

Professor: (discussing male genitals) I mean, no one wants an anteater...

- Science Center

Professor: If I'm spoiling the whole stork narrative, I apologize.

- Science Center

Professor: Don't look at my bottom! Just because I'm not a Muslim woman doesn't mean I don't have a nice rear.

- Science Center

Student: Looking forward to it!

Professor: Who looks forward to talking about rape!?

- Science Center

Student 1: How would you describe slavery as an institution?

Student 2: Bad?

- Cornell Library

Professor: He's a cantankerous old man who was my professor at Princeton who's still teaching nonsense and refuses to die.

- Science Center

Student: I called my mom and she said she got a 24 pound turkey. Where did she get it, Sesame Street?

- Trotter