Professor: So this is an E. coli genome. It's kind of like google maps.

- Science Center 101

Student 1: What were those sticks called that we used to play around with flies?
Student 2: Those were paint brushes...

- McCabe Library

Student 1: So I went to this guy's fiftieth wedding anniversary and he died just a month after...
Student 2: Wow, that's really sad. Fifty is really young to die.

- Parrish Hall

Student: Dick Cheney would make a great condom.

- McCabe Library

Student: I've sent the text 'What's going on tonight?' so many times my phone has memorized it... Fuck my life.

- Sharples

Student: The weirdest thing happened to me this morning. I woke up... and I WASN'T tired.

- Sharples

Student: I told my mom "I hate you" once when I was ten. Within five minutes, I had a bag and a cellphone and on the front porch. I had to stay with my grandmother for two days. She just kicked me straight out the house.

- Cornell Library

Student: You know some people have an internet porn addiction? You have a slow loris addiction.

- Parrish Hall

Student: My morning consisted of waking up, pooping and going back to sleep...

- Science Center

Student: It's too bad they closed down Guantanamo Bay. I would have had a job.

- Parrish Beach