Student: (translated from Arabic) Do you like to eat Steinbeck often?

- Kohlberg Hall

Student: I'd be a midwife... it just pops right out.

- Parrish Beach

Student: When Jane Austen wrote Emma she must have been constipated... or something.

- Parrish Hall

Student: I'm not a big gang bang person, really.

- Hallowell

Student: You should take Astro. I've heard the exam questions are like:

"How big is the moon?"
a) not very big
b) very big
c) don't choose this answer
d) a cat

- Sharples

Student: (smoking a bong) Dude, I always forget how big yours is! It's literally like twice the size of mine.

- Willets

Student: I don't feel bad telling you you were crying in your sleep you little bitch.

- Parrish Hall

Student 1: (about the Bodies Exibit) Who donates the bodies?
Student 2: The mothers... or the fathers. The families.
Student 3: ... you mean the Chinese governement.

- Parrish Hall

Student: You are the light of my life and the fire of my loins.

- Parrish Hall

Student: R. Kelly is perfect study music.

- McCabe Library

Student 1: (playing Apples to Apples) Ugh what the fuck does the "gall bladder" do? It's such a nasty word.
Student 2: No its not! The gall bladder helps you digest fats along with bile! It's not nasty at all!

- Wharton

Student 1: Actually, my grandfather is a felon. He employs an illegal alien.
Student 2: Really?
Student 1: How do you progress from being an illegal immigrant to an illegal alien?
Student 2: I don't know.
Student 1: You should really figure this out because you may be in this situation someday.

- Outside of Sharples

Student 1: This summer I got addicted to cigarettes and started listening to country music.
Student 2: Wow, those are like the two worst things that could ever happen to someone.

- Swarthmore Shuttle

Student: Tarble is like the baby Jesus of Swarthmore.

- Swarthmore Shuttle